It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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