You did not just play the dead husband card again.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
