yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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