no, he came in my armpit
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
