Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
if i can run in heels then i can drive
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
honey bunches of taint.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
