he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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