I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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