Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
