Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
