i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
