So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
