Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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