I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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