honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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