I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
