I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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