The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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