Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
It's rum buckets o'clock
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
