so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize