Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
This beer is not sobering me up at all
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
