What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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