My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
