I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize