how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
