oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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