How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
