I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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