with your own penis?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
