She went from zero to smokin in five shots
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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