Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
