Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Randomize
