You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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