If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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