This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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