If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
