My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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