The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
