this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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