I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize