Ambien. No doubt about it.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
