So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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