Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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