Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
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