so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
