Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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