It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
