Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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