felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
