i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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