dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
