dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
you traded sex for a burrito?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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