I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
