We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
