that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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