In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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