i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
