eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
