the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize
