her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
