She's JV to your varsity
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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