Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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