i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
