kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
