I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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