That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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