Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Randomize
