so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
