Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
