Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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