walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize