it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
