That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
