Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
