I never want to see another naked old woman again.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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