I think scott just propositioned me for sex
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
