What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
someone owes me an orgasm
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
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